7 hours of daydreaming

Yesterday afternoon, i proved my theory!! lol
"when you expect something to happen TOO MUCH, it wont happen, but when you give up and start to accept, something better might happen!!!"
Mom suddenly called my mobile when me, bro, sis and jess were at High Point,
she told me dat there is an available seat bak to indo!!
i was sooo happy and started jumping up and down and people started looking at me too!! lol
so we rushed bak home and packed stuff then went to chaddy to buy LOLLIES, dinner, airport!
it was sooo unexpected! and i'm extremely HAPPY!
i thought i would stuck in melbourne until d 27th! but now!! YAY!!! =]

haihs!!!! jie is suppossed to come to the airport to give + get stuff from me + buy me breakfast..
BUTTT... after calling for more than 20 times to home + mobile, i gave up!!
and here i am, blogging in d airport,
flight to indo depart at 7.30 (sg time)
i'm boredddddddddddddd..................
cant wait meeting my minnieeee!!!!!! =] =]

i was sitting wif a realli realli freaky guy for 7 hours 40 mins juz now,
gosh!! he talked for 7 hours about realli realli random stuff,
and my answers were, "hahahaha", "woww!!", "really?", "then??"
i wasnt even listening!! daydreamed instead,
looking bak, imaginating, and laffed by MYSELF, at MYSELF! how pathetic!!
didnt get to sleep at all!! pffttt!! >=[
very sleepy but very happy!! =D

Have you really changed?? whi??
hopefully i juz "misinterpret" ur meaning..
haihsss.. does it matter tho?
i'm not sure.. it shudnt..

Silent Nite

YAYY!!!!
guess what?!
I found my anklet dat I lost 2 years ago!!!!
I still remember how I cried when I lost it!!
bcoz it's my first jewellery from mom..
hehehehehee...
so happy!!! omg.. teeeeheeee!!

I love melbourne at nite, i love nite time!!
I dun like the time when the very very shiny, yellow and bright sun exposes itself, trying to kill me wif its heat!!! PFFFFTTT!!!
I like it when it's dark,
you can smile, cry, grinnnn, frown, and no one knows!!
hehehehehehehhee..

YES, it's 2 AM rite now,
I havent been sleeping dis late since last month!!!
it doesnt feel good tho, it feels unhealthy..
heheheehe.


People do change, rite?
When they grow up, they change, start reducing their childish behaviour,
when they move, they change, trying to adapt..
when they meet new people, they change, bcoz they've learnt more, they've "tasted" more (it dat makes any sense)

I have changed since I moved here!
The BIGGEST change is,
I've started to learn how to trust people again,
thanx to Ling and Ken for dat..
Yes ken, i do trust you (a bit and sometimes), when i told you i dont, i was juz unsure, whether dat lil "trust" is called as "trusting" or not.. =]
I've learnt dat you're not suppossed to completely listen to other people, you shud listen to urself!
I've also learnt dat keeping secrets is very very very very IMPORTANT, because when others tell you their secrets, it means they trust you and you shudnt lose their trust!!
also.... shopping isnt all dat bad, it IS boring, but i dun "dislike" it as much animore, *give credits to ling!! hhehehe*

wat do you feel when you see dis?
I feel lonely, vulnerable, yet independent...
I love love love love dandelions!! =]

newaizzz... book time!! gd nitezzzz...

Missing you...

It has been quite a while since d last time i felt dis way..
When it wasnt here, I wished i had it..
and now dat it's here, I'm confused and dun like it..

Parents went bak to indo dis morning,
me bro and sis went to Great Ocean Road from d airport..
SO TIRING!!! yes..
got backache!! pfffttt...
and I think I'm getting crazier and crazier each day..
I start talking to my camera, phone and fingers..
wth?? yehh.. i dunno whi either!

In my bro's eyes, I'm still a "lil kid"..
I cant even drink coffee bcoz I'm a LIL KID!!
and I'm frkn 18, turing 19 in about 2 months!

LOL

so yes! I woke up at around 5.30 dis morning!
ask me whi!
my dad snored too loudly AGAIN!
sighh...

When i woke up and turned on my laptop,
I was expecting dis particular person to online/still online/come online!
but nahh.... not there!!

so facebook-ing around...
and then!!!
*pops*
I remember I havent replied an IMPORTANT email!!!
an email dat provides a "bond" of me and ling!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
but before dat, I replied the more important email first!
email about our HONEYMOON!!!!! teeeheeeeeeeeee..

spent about an hour replying ling's emails,
you can imagine how long is dat!! lol.
you better read them properly, ling chen!!!!

omg!!! anddd....
LINGGGG.... (I assume you read my email first before you read dis blog)
do you remember Joseline?!?!!?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

I'm so creative!!! yes?! Agree, ling?! XP

Do you believe?

I was surprised but not surprised,
I was happy but not happy..

I kinda knew it before,
but never knew dat it was dat "serious"..
happy?? maybe? yes? no? i dunno..
but too bad, "XXX" is not d one too...

i guess she's rite, i do have high expectation for "XXX"..
oh wells, who doesnt?

Kangaroos r not all dat cute, they're SCARY!!!

PS: I love you!!! (yes you, my loveliest!!! =] )

Few mins ago, someone told me the HAPPIEST news ever!!!!
I'm very very happy!!!!!!!! VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY HAPPY to d max!!!!
lolololololololol!!!!!
you deserve it... =]

Rambling~~~

Dis is gonna be a pointless blog wif lots of anger, annoyance and randomness..
I believe if i dun let dis out, i'm not gonna b able to sleep tonite!

1. Why cant you trust me? not like i've ever lied to you or something!! and not like i made things up to get something from you! i warned you, you didnt wanna listen, then what? what i scared of happened and you complained.. wat d heck?

2. I had the most expensive dinner + the most unpleasant dinner atmosphere today! serzly, wats d point eating at a very high class restaurant?? whi not juz eat simple meals but have fun? full of laughter, jokes, talks? not dat i dun appreciate, i'm very grateful to have all dat, but it's juz........... wasting!!

3. Whi cant I be the one? Whi? I've tried realli hard to be the "one", but its juz impossible, isnt it? I'll never b able to be the one.. whi so sexist??

4. I've been feeling as the cruelest, meanest, most irritating person in d world lately.. I've lost my patience, tolerance, care, love... I guess, "devil lives in every humans heart" is so true.. No matter how kind you used to be or you are, one day, you would still b the evil one, you would still be on the devil side..

5. It's not dat I'm greedy.. OK, fine! I admit it, I am greedy, but dis is because I've put on so much effort, dats whi i expect more.. You juz dun understand how important dis is for me, do you? Then lemme tell you, eventho I know you will never read dis blog, dat it is very very very very important for me..

6. I hate going into the casinos, going in there makes me feel like a jinx, it feels like crap! Wandering around, looking at people's depressed look, $$$$$$ wasted, the smoke, swearings, etc etc... very aggravating! VERY! Especially the smoke, I realli hate smelling the smoke, smelling people's breathe after smoking, their hands... The smell suffocates me and always make me go mad and aggro!!

The point is, I'm angry, I dont know wats wrong wif me animore, too many things happened, I feel very suffocated, I feel very wrong!! I realli need someone to calm me down, but atm, I'm very sure no one can..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Parents, sis and I had lunch wif Mrs. Tan today, it was weird and funny, they started talking about me and ended up talking about sis, forcing her to continue taking master or something like dat.. I feel sorry for sis, knowing dat she's realli tired of studying.. After had a lil talk about the thing wif her, I agree wif mom dat sis is "as stubborn as a bull"!! lololololol!!

Ahh... 3 people called me today! and all of them brightened my day!!
1. someone who used to call me very often but hasnt called for a while, somehow I felt nervous talking to dis person! lolololol! I had 10mins "break" before I actually talked to dis person, and in dat 10 mins, I had soooo many things to tell dis person, but after 10 mins, I didnt know wat to say animore.... dun feel insulted, it's not dat you're boring, I juz havent talked to you for quite a while, and I was nervous + happy of course... hehehehe..
2. someone who used to call once in a while but hasnt called in agessssss, it was fun talking to you after so long!! we still talked about the same jokes.. lol! lame jokes of course! and I actually met dis person 2 hours ago!!! it was AWKWARD!! omg! lol
3. someone who never called and called for d first time today, i was shocked! it was awkward, i'm sorry, but... oh wells, it's understandable (if dats a word), bcoz it's d first time!! ehehehe..

All those phone calls surprised me, but I feel very very happy, thank you..

Happy Birthday Li Mei and DeYe.. wish you guys had a good one! =]

ENTER score!!!

ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
OMG!!! I thought results out at 4am melb!!!!
PFFFTTTT!!!!!!
but no, it's out at 7am.. wth.... =="
no wonder no one's online..
haihsss...

kept having different nightmares last nite..
and all of them relate to ENTER score,
HOW SCARY!!!!! omg!
1 more hour, and i'm gone!
=S =S

ahh..
about new zealand,
it's mostly green (so josh!!), and some blue, brown, grey..
ANDD!!!! sheeps, cows, deers, horses, EVERYWHERE!
leaving NZ dis afternoon..

it feels diff, even if i dun go bak to indo, i dun mind animore..
haihs.. issit bcoz parents r here wif me?
or issit bcoz i dun feel "right" to go bak to indo?
i do not know..
we'll see! lol..
who knows, by the time i go bak to indo, the weird feelings mite change?
(i forced myself to update bcoz some "best" friend of mine almost forgot how to spell my name + i couldnt sleep peacefully before the ENTER score's out!)

Sick sick very sickkk.. >=(

It feels exactly the same but very very different..
Why tho?
I dunwanna feel the same feeling animore, but I want to...
I do not know what I want....
I dont understand whi did i do what i did..
Wat a retard.. :(

Aaakkkhhh..
Is dat wat is the most important thing for you?
Cant you be patient?
It's not even dat "extreme"...
It's juz a trivial thing!!!
and it happens all the time!
Unlike "dis" thing, it happens prolli onli ONCE in a year!
whi do you have to ruin the mood? the realli good atmosphere??
I've tried realli hard, but you juz dun appreciate it, do you?
Arrrgghh!!! Anything anywhere, please give me PATIENCE!

And you, whi do you have to repeat the history again and again?
I'm so bored of it.. Not dat I juz knew you, I've known you for years!
And I even can predict ur answers of my questions!
stop the silly things, silly actions, silly thoughts!!
it's useless and annoying!

Whi am I so aggro? =(

Nawwwhhh...

I'm jealous..
Never felt like dis before..
Haihs.. bad person... >=[

PS: Ling chen, dis has nothing to do wif ur LUNCH! it's something else!! (juz in case you thought i'm realli jealous bcoz of dat! lol)

Mr Kenneth Tsang (I was trying to comment on ur blog, but i dunno, ur blog is so retarded! lol!! no no... I was dumb! ok?! satisfied? happy?! lol newaiz, here's the comment i was gonna submit!)

LOLOL!!!! how did you know I was laffing?! lol! I laffed even harder when you asked "maggy winata" to "shut up"!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! YEs yes, ken tsang, I know you've grown up, you're sooooooooooooooooooooooooo immature now!! oppsss! i meant MATURE!!!! (cbb deleting it! hehehe)..
You're wrong!! I read all of dat! eventho I skipped the "mthfka" parts!! and the politics part is ..... 1 WORD!!!
BORING!!!!!!! lol! newaiz, Have fun in HK!!! I'm still suffering in boring melb, wif mommie offering TONS of MEDICATIONS to me! PFFFFTTTT!!!!

Ahh!!!
Went to Philip Island wif family (excluding bro) yesterday (erh yes, wif WOON family too)! It was fun!! Looking at the animals, blah blahb lahh!!! I FINALLY SAW KOALA!!!!! wooohoooo!!! After 2.5 years living in aus, I havent seen koala, dat is very very............................ lol!

OMG!! I swear I wont marry a guy who snores when he's sleeping! SERIOUSLY!!!! I couldnt sleep for 2 nites because daddy snored TOO LOUDLY!!! I envy my mom for being able to bear dat for AT LEAST 26 years! lol! For the first nite, I slept for 2 hours in the living room, last nite, I slept for 4 hours in d living room (improvement) lol!

post photos nextt time!!! =]

Excitement

This template is annoying + weird but pretty!!!
lol! I'm gonna change it when i have time, considering dat parents r arriving in 1 hour time, when they're here, i'll b busy "serving" them! lol!

LING CHEN!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHH!!!!
You deserve dat term!! =]
I'm glad dat "it" wont happen in d future!
hehehehehehe..

I will always love you......

"Bee-awww-tea-full"
Hehehehehehe..

I'm bored, waiting for sis to wake up, I feel like vacuuming the whole house! lol.
Had a "weird freaky funny" dream last nite, i got cold sweat when i woke up, but I cant remember what the dream was about.. -short memory-

hey hey!!! Juz realised, =3 looks like "fart"!!!!! lol yeh!!! I'm lame..
Cant wait til I go bak to Indo, it's so boring here.. haihs!

Inexplicable...

It's really hard to control, you cant choose, ur heart chooses it.. The harder you try to avoid, the closer it'll come to you.. Pfft!!

My room is very very empty rite now, no more desks... Soon it'll b emptier, no more sis.. haihss.. empty empty quiet quiet lonely lonely...........

I understand very clearly how you feel, but I dont know how to respond to it.. I'm sorry..

Sometimes I wanna get angry, but I juz cant.. not now.. whi tho? I wanna say "dont", but too scared to face the consequences..

Today's day out wif LingChenzz was a lot of fun! Nice food, nice stuff, nice weather, nice talk, nice shops, nice mood! =]
I think I've grown become "girlier" now.. lol! Cant believe mom said I'm too manly/tomboy! lol.

Still fear facing commitments.. Do not know why and why... I used to not scared of it and never even thought about it! HAihs.. I'm getting old! >_< (onli old people think a lot and worry about evi single thing)

Dis post is so... I dunno, so many things packed into 1!! It doesnt make any sense.. It's okay, I juz wanna blab evithing out of my chest!! (but it doesnt make me feel much better tho)